Shifting Sands
by Vicky Ocean
Summary: Karrde and Shada make some decisions about their future. Talon Karrde/Shada D'ukal. Part 12 of Scenes From A Peculiar Affair series.
1. Chapter 1

Set about a year before _Vector Prime_

* * *

Feeling suddenly tired, Shada leaned against the wall of the turbolift taking her up to her apartment. Karrde had hosted a dinner and a night of sabcac for Booster Terrik, Han Solo, and Lando Calrissian, so she had gone alone to a gathering that Leia Organa Solo had organized. She had lingered at Leia's long after the other guests had left, not wanting to intrude on what she secretly called the Old Smuggler's Club. She hoped they were all done by now.

"Welcome home, Mistress Karrde," Booster's voice called out as she stepped through the door.

She saw he was alone, lounging in a chair in the conversation area smoking a cigarra. If Booster was still here he must be planning to avail himself of their guestroom. She could hear Karrde directing the housekeeping droids in the dining room.

"Booster, it's good to see you." She smiled at him stepping down into to the sunken area around the fire place. She leaned down to give him a hug, but he pulled her down so she was sitting on the arm of his chair. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders holding her close. Booster was one of the few beings she knew that made a tall woman such as herself her feel small.

"You've got that husband of yours well trained," he whispered in her ear. "He wanted to make sure you didn't come home to a mess." Louder he said so Karrde could hear, "Shada, sweetheart, when are you going to ditch that old bandit and run away with me?"

"I don't know, Booster. What have you got to offer?" she asked playing along.

"A Star Destroyer that will take you anywhere you want to go in the galaxy."

Karrde came into the room just then, a good natured grin on his face. "Booster, are you trying to steal my woman?"

"Of course! You don't deserve such a fine lady."

"I'm sorry, Talon. I'm leaving you for Booster. He's giving me a Star Destroyer."

"Giving- That's _my_ ship. Get away from me, you golddigger." Booster pushed her laughing off the arm of the chair and into Karrde's arms.

"I'm not sure I can forgive you for dallying with my arch-nemesis," he teased her.

"I can be very persuasive," she said leaning in closer to him.

"I know you can." Karrde stole a quick kiss, before going to the bar to retrieve a glass for her. "Try this brandy Lando brought. It's exquisite."

She took a sip. "It is very nice."

Karrde sat down on the couch and picked up his cigarra from the ashtray on the table. Shada sat close beside him, his arm going around her shoulders.

"How was the Old Smuggler's Club Reunion?" she inquired.

"A rather profitable evening. How was the Ladies Auxillary meeting?"

"Ladies Auxillary?" She elbowed him in ribs causing him to huff out a laugh. "You'd all be in big trouble without us."

"We would indeed," he agreed readily.

"Ain't that the truth," Booster held up his glass in a toast. "To the ladies that are always saving our asses." Then he picked the box of cigarra's and offered her one. Shada rarely indulged but Booster always had the highest quality cigarras. He lit it for her and she leaned back, Karrde's arm going back around her pulling her to him. She kicked off her shoes wiggling her toes as she propped her feet up next to Karrde's on the table.

This was one of those rare moments that felt she felt perfectly content as if everything was right in her universe. Although niggling in the back of her mind was the feeling that the other boot was about to drop.

She listened as Karrde and Booster exchanging stories of their smuggling days, occasionally interjecting a comment or story of her own. Each story, especially Booster's, seemed more outrageous than the next. After a while she realized that the tabaac in the cigarras were laced with some sort of spice because she began to feel more euphoric than the brandy warranted.

Eventually, Booster made it to their guest room and she and Karrde retired to their own bedroom. The spice gave their lovemaking a strange dreamlike quality, heightening the sensation yet making her feel oddly disconnected at the same time. When she finally fell asleep her dreams seemed to be a continuation and she woke the next morning feeling as tired as if she had been up all night and a little hungover. She was glad that they didn't have the meeting with the High Council today. They would need all their wits about them to deal with President Fey'la.

Shada had just rolled over to go back to sleep when there was a pounding on their door and Booster bellowing, "Stop being lazy and get up. I made breakfast."

Karrde groaned beside her and threw an arm across his eyes, blocking out the morning light. "Remind me again why you told him he was welcome to stay with us anytime?"

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

"What?" Karrde's voice was low and icy and as angry as Shada had ever heard it. It took a lot to make Karrde angry, but he rarely exploded. He froze.

Fey'lya was too stupid to realize that and continued his disrespectful tirade. Instead of merely informing Karrde that his organization's services were no longer wanted by the New Republic, President Fey'lya had gone off on a rant insulting Karrde personally and his work as liason between New Republic and Imperial Intelligence.

Shada felt Karrde's entire body tense up almost as if he was about to physically strike out at Fey'lya. She lay a warning hand on his thigh under the table, but Karrde was not deterred. He stood. "Are you quite through?" His tone was still icy but she could tell that his temper had cycled from cold to hot. She had to get him to focus on something else before he said something to cause Fey'lya to arrest him which she suspected was what the Bothan was about.

Shada rubbed her forehead as if she was beset with a headache. Then she reached out a shaky hand to pour herself a glass of water from the pitcher on the table, nearly spilling it in the process. Several of the other beings at the table focused their eyes on her, but Karrde was still intent on Fey'lya. She made a show of taking a sip and setting the glass back down as if she was too weak to bear the weight.

General Wedge Antilles was seated next to her and murmured, "Are you alright, Shada?"

"I don't think so. I feel very ill all of a sudden."

Wedge motioned one of the guards over. He told him in a low voice, "Mistress D'ukal is unwell. Please escort her to the med facility."

"That's probably not necessary, General. I'll be fine in a moment," she protested, her voice weak and breathless.

"Please, Shada. You look very ill."

She nodded and stood. Karrde didn't even glance at her. Shada took a couple of steps before she crumbled to the floor, making sure to fall away from Wedge and the guard. She heard a collective gasp and Wedge call out to Karrde. She felt hands on her face and pulse point that were mostly likely Wedge's.

"See to your female," she heard Fey'lya bark out. "There is nothing more to say. This meeting is adjourned."

"Shada?" Karrde's voice was full of concern and she sensed him kneeling over her. "Are you alright?" She felt his hands searching her for injury.

She didn't respond and just continued lie there motionless.

"She was feeling ill and we were going to take her to the med center. Then she fainted," Wedge told him. "It was so sudden I couldn't catch her."

"I didn't realize she was ill." Karrde sounded distraught.

Just then med team arrived and quickly carried her away.

* * *

"You can 'wake up' now," Karrde's dry voice told her.

Shada opened her eyes to see a rather sheepish looking Karrde hovering over her prone form on the bed. "Where am I?" she asked continuing her role in case there were witnesses near by.

"The infirmary in Starfighter Command. Antilles saw through your ruse and had you brought here to where they're loyal to him. I think everyone else bought it." He sounded a trifle irritated but she knew it was more at himself than her. "You scared me to death."

"It was either that or stab you. Fey'lya was about ready to slap binders on you and lock you up."

"I know." He sighed and raked his hands through his hair. "I knew what he was doing and I still couldn't seem to stop myself." He looked down at her giving her a grateful look. "Thank you for saving me from myself." He gave her a courtly kiss on her hand. In that moment he looked nearly every day of his five and a half decades.

"You owe me for this. Big time. I swooned for you. My reputation is in tatters."

That drew a small smile from him. "How would you like that repaid, my dear?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something. You're very good at that."

"Let's go. I need a drink." He helped her down off the bed. "Don't forget to look pitiful as we walk out."

* * *

In all the years Shada had know Karrde, she'd never seen him well and truly drunk. There was no doubt he enjoyed alcohol tremendously. He used it to relax and was definitely a connoisseur, but she'd never seen him drink to deliberately get drunk.

That's exactly what he did when they got back to their apartment. He shed his cloak and immediately went for the bottle a bottle of Whyren's.

Shada went to the bedroom, to change out of her suit and into a tunic and pair of soft pants. Her scalp was sore where the zenji needles had pressed into her head when it had hit the floor, so she took her hair down. She brushed her hair out and wove it into a loose braid.

She went back to the common room to find Karrde lounging in a chair in front of the large window that overlooked the Coruscant skyline. He had a glass of whiskey waiting for her on the table between the chairs. She came behind him running her hands through his thick hair, sliding down his neck. She started kneeding the tense muscles in his neck and shoulders. "Why don't you lay down and I'll give you a massage?"

"That's okay. I don't feel like it right now. Just come sit with me."

It wasn't like him at all to refuse the offer of a massage. She stroked her hand through his hair on last time before sitting in the other chair. They sat there for a long time staring out at the traffic as the sun set, Karrde steadily drinking. Finally, Shada broke the silence, "What are we going to do about the intelligence network?"

He sighed deeply and poured himself another glass of whiskey. "I can't think about that right now. I'll think about it tomorrow."

"Okay." Shada didn't particularly think about the havoc this would wreck in the organization either. She continued to nurse her drink as Karrde worked on finishing off the bottle. "Do you want to go out to dinner?" She thought a change of scenery and getting moving may do him good.

"No, we shouldn't. Not with your fainting spell. I don't feel like going out anyway."

"I'll order in then. What do you want?"

"It doesn't matter," he replied listlessly.

When the food came he drank more than he actually ate of dinner. He sat there politely while she ate waiting for her to finish, but her appetite was rather ruined too.

After dinner she could no longer stand his moody silence, so she left him to drown in his bottle and went into the office to work. A while later, their door rang and she checked the security feed. It was Iella Antilles holding a bouquet of flowers and a bottle.

Shada hurried to the common room to answer the door before Karrde did, but he hadn't stirred from his chair by the window. "Go in the bedroom," she told him pulling him from his chair. "Iella is here."

Karrde stared at her dumbly for a moment, but he complied taking his bottle with him.

Shada opened the door and smiled at Iella. "Sorry it took me so long. Come in."

"Oh, that's fine," she replied stepping in. "I thought I'd see how you were feeling. Wedge said you'd fallen ill in the meeting. I'm glad to see it looks like you're doing better."

"Yes, thank you."

"And I brought these for you." Iella handed her the boquet of flowers. "And Wedge sent this for Karrde."

She took the bottle of very fine Corellian whiskey too. "He'll appreciate that I'm sure. Come sit down." Iella sat on the couch and Shada went into the kitchen to fill a vase with water to put the flowers in.

"Can I offer you anything?" Shada asked as she sat the flowers on an end table in the conversation area.

"No, thanks. Can we talk here?"

She sat down next to Iella. "Yes. It's clean."

"Perhaps Karrde would like to join us."

"He's lying down. He has a bad headache."

Iella nodded grimly. "I'm sure he does."

"What can we do for you?"

"I was asked to inform Karrde that although President Fey'lya no longer wants his services, New Republic Intellegence and Military still do. They would like to work out a discreet arrangement for you to continue to provide vital intelligence."

"I'm sure that can be arranged," Shada said. It would be more work for them, but not an uncommon arrangement with some of their planetary government clients, just on a larger scale. "Will you be the intermediary?"

"For now. At least until other channels are set up. You and I are already friends so that's useful. And it would not look strange for me to come and check on my good friend after fainting in a High Council meeting." Iella grinned. "Wedge said he'd never seen anyone pass out so dramatically. You scared him to death before he realized what was going on."

"Well, I thank him greatly for his concern and assistance," Shada told her. "Why don't we go into the office and start working this out?"

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

After Iella had left the night before, Shada found Karrde passed out on the bed still in his clothes. Which didn't particularly surprise her given the bottle of Whyren's was almost empty on the nightstand. She was really amazed he'd been able to put that much whiskey away without getting sick. Karrde wasn't quite that dedicated of a drinker. She knew he'd have a hell of a hangover though.

He didn't even stir when she'd pulled off his boots or as she slipped in bed beside him. When she'd woken up beside him this morning, he was still sleeping like the dead. She had left a glass of water and an analgesic pill on the nightstand before she had gone to work in the office. She checked on him every hour or so just to make sure he was okay.

It was afternoon when Karrde finally staggered out of bedroom. Shada was laying on the couch with her legs propped up against the back reading a holonovel Mirax had sent over. She eyed Karrde as he nearly stumbled down the steps to the sunken conversation area before collapsing in a chair. He had taken off his rumpled clothes from yesterday and put on a loose casual shirt and pants. His hair was damp from his shower, but it didn't look like it had refreshed him any, his face was almost green. She lifted her datapad higher to hide the smile she couldn't contain at his state. One didn't often see Talon Karrde in this condition. "How do you feel?" she asked.

"Like a fool." He glanced at her and quickly looked away. "Please sit up. You're making me sick just looking at you like that."

"Do you want something to eat?"

He glared at her. "I'd kindly ask you not to mention food. For several days at least." He leaned back in his chair closing his eyes and sitting very still.

Shada did laugh at that.

"You're probably the least sympathetic wife ever," he complained irritably.

"I doubt that, but it's hard to be sympathetic when you put yourself in this condition."

"Are you sure you're not in league with Fey'lya?"

"Just remember I swooned for you," she reminded him.

"Yes, well…"

Karrde seemed to doze off after a few minutes and she went back to her reading. Some time later she heard him ask. "Why does it look like a botanical garden in here?"

Shada looked around at all the flower arrangements scattered across the common room. "Our friends sent me flowers to cheer me up while I recover from Endoran flu," she told him.

"Endoran flu?" His forehead wrinkled up in confusion.

"That's why I fainted. You have it too. That's why you acted so uncharacteristically yesterday."

"Hmph." He appeared unimpressed with the cover story the NRI had concocted. "What did they send to cheer me up?"

"Booze."

He looked a little greener at the thought, his jaw tightly clenched.

"Don't worry. I've hidden it. Most of it was very good stuff. It shouldn't be wasted on a bender."

"I'm not on a bender," he said grumpily. "Start packing. I want to leave first thing in the morning to go back to base."

"We can't," Shada told him. "We have to convalesce for a few days so Intelligence can set up a way to circumvent Fey'lya and his cronies,"

"The New Republic can go to hell for all I care," Karrde told her with some vehemence.

"We'll talk about this when you're feeling better," she said firmly. He was probably still a little drunk.

* * *

By late afternoon Karrde had moved to lay on the couch with his head in Shada's lap. "What do you keep giggling about?" he demanded grouchily.

She didn't even bother to deny it. "Oh, this holonovel Mirax sent as part of her care package. I think she sent it as a joke. I hope so at least. It's horrendous, but I can't put it down."

"What is it?"

"_The Smuggler's Bodyguard_."

"Definitely a joke," Karrde decided. "Do you find it accurate to your experience as a smuggler's bodyguard?"

"Don't be silly. It's a trashy romance. How accurate could it be?"

"What's it about?" he asked, seemingly glad to have something to think about other than how horrible he felt.

"The torrid affair the bodyguard is having with the smuggler's main rival."

"That doesn't seem like a good business practice," he pointed out.

"Not to mention how the bodyguard is always off kriffing with the rival rather than guarding her boss."

Karrde smiled for the first time that day. "That does sound like a rather useless arrangement."

"You're telling me." Shada continued reading until she could no longer stand the absurdity. Finally, she set her datapad aside.

"Through with it?" Karrde asked.

"Why? You want to read it?"

"No. I trust you'll give me any interesting highlights." Shada sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "That feels good," he told her and she continued stroking his hair and massaging his scalp.

"Would you have had an affair with me when I worked for Mazzic?" she asked, the silly book having set her mind on various 'what ifs'.

"I suppose if the opportunity would have presented itself I might have considered it. After all I didn't last very long against your charms when you started working for me, despite all my rules. I've told you I found you intriguing after Trogan."

Shada laughed a little imagining having that kind of torrid affair with Karrde under Mazzic's nose. "Mazzic would have had a stroke," she told him. "He was always a little jealous of you anyway."

"Was he? Well, now he has even more reason, because I ended up with you, my dear. Perhaps we should send him a copy of this novel. He may enjoy it."

"Don't mean, Talon." She gave him a sharp poke in the ribs.

* * *

Shada woke up in the early hours of the morning to find Karrde was no longer in bed beside her. During the years they'd shared a bed she'd grown used to him getting up in the middle of the night to work when something was on his mind. She no longer woke with him, he would wake her if he needed her.

She rolled over and tried to go back to sleep but found she couldn't. She got out of bed and put on her robe and slippers. She didn't find him in the common room or the office. He didn't seem to be in the apartment at all. So she slid a blaster in her pocket and took the turbolift to the roof garden. She stepped out of the lift and saw his form silhouetted against the lights as he gazed out at the city.

When she reached him, Karrde silently pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her from behind. He nuzzled her neck, his beard tickling the sensitive skin. His lips were cold from having to been out here for a while, but his body was arm behind her. They stood like that together watching the rhythmic motion of the traffic around them for a long while. Finally, she asked quietly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

His breath was warm on her neck as he sighed. "Not really, but I suppose I must. Especially since it affects you as well."

"What is it, Talon?"

"I think I'm ready to retire."

"Retire?" she echoed.

"I don't mean completely, but I'd like to take a step back. I'm tired, Shada. I'm tired of all this political wrangling. Nothing ever seems to be accomplished except me feeling like I'm banging my head against durasteel plating."

"I know." They had been having an especially tough time with the New Republic since Fey'lya got elected. Although she couldn't help thinking that even if Karrde went into semi-retirement that would be like allowing Fey'lya to win and throwing away all their hard work. "What about the organization?"

"We wouldn't go back to smuggling if that's what you're worried about," he told her. "We'd just continue as we are, providing information to those governments that want it. Ave handles most of the day to day operations now anyway."

"What about me?" She didn't think she could stand leading an idle life.

"That's up to you of course. You can continue in an active roll or you can take a step back with me. Whatever makes you happy."

"Don't you think this all a bit rash?" They'd had setbacks before. Surely this nonsense could be resolved in time as well.

"I've been thinking about it for a while," Karrde admitted. "Since at least when Fey'lya was elected. I'm not a young man anymore and I'd like to be able to truly enjoy the life I have with you."

"Haven't you enjoyed it up to now?"

"You know I have," he his arms held her tighter. "But work has taken priority. I'd like for us to take priority."

"What would we do?" Shada asked cautiously.

"Whatever we wanted. Travel, see the wonders of the galaxy we've been working to protect. Maybe find some nice place we'd like to settle. Help out when we're needed."

"I'm not sure what I would do with that much time on my hands."

"I promise I would keep you entertained, my darling." He kissed the side of her neck suggestively.

"What if I don't want to retire?"

"Then I will support you in anything you want to do." He sounded like his mind was made up. That he was going to retire whether or not she did as well.

"I don't know, Talon. I really don't know what to say. I wish you'd said something sooner about how you were feeling." She had seen the signs of his frustration but she hadn't really realized that it had built up to something this drastic.

"I didn't want to burden you."

She turned in his arms taking a step back breaking his hold on her. Her confusion turned to anger. "I'm your wife. It's my job to share your burdens."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's really only come to head. I just know I can't keep going on like this. Just think about it please. We don't have to make a decision right away."

"Okay." She agreed, allowing him to fold her back into his arms and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I love you, Shada. I'll be happy as long as you're happy."

Although he'd never said or gave any indication of it, she had come to realize that he had started this whole information sharing network for her, so that she would have work that she considered honorable. It certainly wasn't as profitable as his previous operation was, but he had made it work and they had helped to keep peace in the galaxy in their own way. Nothing they could do now could keep President Fey'lya and various factions in the New Republic from throwing that away that peace with both hands.

Karrde had given her a new life, an honorable life, and his love as well. She could give him this. "I've always wanted to see the Flamewind on Oseon," she told him.

The rigid tension left his body and he hugged her tighter. "Then we shall go."

The End


End file.
